The potato dropping on downtown Boise, New Years eve 2014. As covered by the Idaho Statesmen
Idaho Statesmen Potato Drop 2014
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Good to hear from you Mike. I always know etalxcy what to write to get you to pipe up, right? Reasonable people can disagree on these rankings, but Syracuse did just lose AT HOME to Pitt by DOUBLE DIGITS. I understand the Kansas-Cornell analogy by we all know Kansas would beat Cornell 9 out of 10 times. That’s the definition of a fluke. Can we say that about Pitt-Cuse? I don’t think so. Let me see more and then I will adjust accordingly. As for West Virginia and Villanova, I’ve had them 1-2 in that order since October and I see no reason to change that right now. Nova losing to Temple in one of those crazy Big 5 games (where upsets are commonplace) doesn’t upset the apple cart in my mind. Again, it’ll all play out. I actually enjoyed Boeheim’s postgame after Seton Hall, even his potshot at the media about OOC schedule strength (at least the quotes were interesting and usable). Much better than the normal blah-blah-blah you get from a lot of the other guys. Bitter, the point about last year’s Big East is how it was the deepest league ever. Obviously no league was better at the top than those mid-80s Big Easts. If it makes you feel better the next time it comes up I will put an asterisk and a footnote making this distinction. Piratefocus,I’ve been beating the drums for Fero Hall as you know, but he is way too small to play center in the Big East. Have you seen the size of the postmen on the other teams? Big John is a space-eater and is useful in short spurts (alas, his knees have robbed him of the rest). Fero has to beef up big-time before he can hold his own at center for any reasonable lengths.
I found just what I was needed, and it was enniitarteng!
That’s a crackerjack answer to an interesting question
i don’t know about her feeling but she prabboly love you or at least has feelings about you because she is with you.. but SHE DOES NT RESPECT YOU. and she had many chances to fix that and ti try ti be ok with you, but as far as i can understand, she doesn’t. i see that its very difficult to leave her because you love her, she is ur first real love etc first of all i think that its not a good idea to cheat her, just for revenge and just to know how it feels to be unfaithful. keep in mind that u r different persons and u r not supposed to be like her and do the same mistakes like her in order to be in your situation and in ur position. keep yourself just like u are, u don’t tell many things about you but as i can see you have some positive characteristics that are difficult to find nowadays. YOU ARE NOT A CHEATER AND U R NOT A LIAR-THAT MEANS THAT U R AN HONEST PERSON. NEVER CHANGE ABOUT ANYONE.she may doesn’t know how much it hurts when someone cheats on you-especially if she was never cheated by someone but i m sure that she knows exactly what she is doing and how bad is to always cheat your husband thats why she was trying to keep it secret etc.. but i think that u did something wrong here: you knew how she was-cheating etc and u married her. i dont tell u that u had to split up with her etc but if you already knew that u had to wait for a couple of years in order to see how everything was going to be and if something was gonna change. you could love her and stay with her -whatever but why getting marry her? after all you are young enough -you have all your life to live.. dont get blind of love-love is the most important thing in the world but KEEP UR MIND ALERT-SO I HOPE TO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH HER THESE YEARS AND THEN TO START WONDERING HOW YOU CAN FIX THINGS WITH HER BECAUSE SHE IS A CHEATER. i think that if u really love her give your marriage a chance, tell her that this is her last chance and if anything happens u r going to leave forever. be a little bit suspicious about her and if she keeps cheating on you-then leave her-because u r going to be sad and unhappy forever and later ur children will be in a depressed family. you can also tell her to go (both of you )to a counselor-psychologist to ask for help. i wish you all the best
You mean I don’t have to pay for expert advice like this anymore?!
Walking in the presence of giants here. Cool thinking all around!
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Good points all around. Truly appreciated.
You really saved my skin with this information. Thanks!
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Touchdown! That’s a really cool way of putting it!
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I was seriously at DefCon 5 until I saw this post.
Yup, that should defo do the trick!
Was totally stuck until I read this, now back up and running.
This was so helpful and easy! Do you have any articles on rehab?
This posting knocked my socks off
Yo, good lookin out! Gonna make it work now.
Normally I’m against killing but this article slaughtered my ignorance.
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If you’re looking to buy these articles make it way easier.
was I know. Never did anything to end it at that point.I am unylpmoeed but looking right now so I am biding my time until I have more options. I know unless something drastic happened-like end of affair, marriage counseling, etc- I will leave eventually anyway.I let him know that until he makes up his mind what he wants and who he wants to be with, we will just live like roommates. I will do my own thing, keep myself busy. Sometimes he reaches for me and when I pull away he gets angry!! In our day to day life he acts like nothing is wrong. He gets upset because I turn away from him?! She is far away and he can’t be with her-YET. He brought this upon himself and he has the NERVE to be upset with me for not acting like his wife! If he had apologized, ended it, and was truly sorry-things might have been different, but so far none of these things happened.I ask him what he wants and he doesn’t know . His doctor told him not to make any big decisions yet in his depressed state. He is just leaving both of us hanging. I know I will leave as soon as I get on my feet financially. Meanwhile-what to do?I do love him, I know he is clinically depressed, but he brought this on himself-he should have never got involved in ex’s drama. I am trying to keep myself together and he can’t understand my distance . How would you handle this situation?She has money and he admitted that was a reason he was thinking of going to her. Nice.
Oh yeah, fabulous stuff there you!
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IMHO you’ve got the right answer!
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A minute saved is a minute earned, and this saved hours!
I appreciate you taking to time to contribute That’s very helpful.
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Me and this article, sitting in a tree, L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G!
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Shiver me timbers, them’s some great information.
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If I were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, now I’d say “Kowabunga, dude!”
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It’s posts like this that make surfing so much pleasure
That’s 2 clever by half and 2×2 clever 4 me. Thanks!
Now we know who the sensible one is here. Great post!
Unbelievable how well-written and informative this was.
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Why does this have to be the ONLY reliable source? Oh well, gj!
Your post is a timely contribution to the debate
Economies are in dire straits, but I can count on this!
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What’s it take to become a sublime expounder of prose like yourself?
Does anyone have sttaistics about relationships and marriages that begin under unorthodox circumstances?I am looking for actual sttaistics concerning three different circumstances under which relationships and or marriages begin AND THEN the actual sttaistics I am looking for concern the success or failure of those new relationships.1. I am looking for stats concerning relationships and marriages that begin as affairs on a previous spouse or significant other. What are the stats on success or failure of these new relationships and marriages when they begin as affairs? After 3 years? 5 years? longer?2. When one spouse meets someone new, leaves their marriage for that new person and the new couple marry within 6 months to a year of having met each other?3. Finally I need sttaistics on marriages that take place within 6 months or a year of having divorced a former spouse AND stats concerning when one of the two in the new marriage are getting married for the THIRD time.PLEASE no anecdotal evidence. If you don\’t know what anecdotal evidence means, it means that you want to tell me about your situation or someone you know who was in one of these situations. Anecdotal evidence is NOT evidence.I need these stats for a paper I am writing and I am having a difficult time finding such specific stats.If you know these stats, would you please post links to your sources so I can quote from them in my research?Thank you! Thank you! Please NO personal stories!
A rolling stone is worth two in the bush, thanks to this article.
Dear Switzerland,You better get off this fence post your on NOW! You’re invoivlng alot of chances of children coming into this convoluted mess you have made for a life. I’m not trying to be mean but you make your choices in life. This idiot you so love who your separated from should have been thrown back years ago. Now you involve innocent men into your life to fall prey to your back and forth bs in life. If I could talk to those men I would tell them to run for the hills concerning you. Even if you do FINALLY divorce that idiot you will still probably see him on the side after you start up fresh and new with a different man. I can see you going through this endless merry-go-round with the ex all through life. Sad but true. Why do you do this? Don’t you see you deserve better in life than him? He’s a cheating low life who gets others pregnant and then professes love to you? Don’t you see the forest for the trees? I guess you can’t your one of his trees.Make a change now or forever live this way.
This is a really intelligent way to answer the question.
People normally pay me for this and you are giving it away!
Now I feel stupid. That’s cleared it up for me
A few years ago I’d have to pay someone for this information.
Is that really all there is to it because that’d be flabbergasting.
Thinking like that shows an expert at work
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I’ll try to put this to good use immediately.
This site is like a classroom, except I don’t hate it. lol
It’s wonderful to have you on our side, haha!
Always the best content from these prodigious writers.
Never seen a better post! ICOCBW
This website makes things hella easy.
I appreciate you taking to time to contribute That’s very helpful.
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Last one to utilize this is a rotten egg!
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And give the women their dowries as a gift stunpaneoos. The Koran 4:412 Allah says: Men are the managers of the affairs of women for that Allah has preferred one of themover another, and for that they have expended of their property. The Koran 4:3413 Allah says: they (i.e., your wives) are a vestment for you, and you are a vestament for them. The Koran 2:187 And of His signs is that He created for you, of yourselves, spouses, that you mightrepose in them, and He has set between you love and mercy. Surely in that are signs fora people who consider. The Koran 30:2118b7 Among the rights that Allah gave to the man alone is the right to separate and divorce hiswife. This was such in order to preserve the secrets of marriage, so that he is not forced toturn to injustice to the woman, degrade her, or spread her secrets.b7 Upon divorcing his wife, Allah required that a man maintain her for the waiting period(which if she is pregnant is until she gives birth; if she is menstruating for three periods; andfor all others three months). In any case, he is forever responsible for the maintenance of herchildren. If she is going to raise the children, it is [also] his responsibility to maintain her. Bythat a woman is absolved from working or seeking the necessities of life while she is a wifeor when as a mother she is raising [his] children after divorce.b7 Allah also gave women the right to leave the marriage contract. In this case, however, shemust return to him the dower he gave her, unless he drops that condition.b7 Allah made the marriage contract “a strong pledge,”14 each one of them, man and woman,must legally uphold this bond in this world and will accordingly be judged in the Hereafter.b7 Islam gave men the right to marry up to four women at one time, provided he is able tomaintain them all.15 Of course, a woman who accepts this, accepts such willingly and out ofconsent. Allah- Glorified and Exalted be He-has permitted this, so that no woman wouldremain without a husband; no man would turn to illicit sex (for lawful means have beenfacilitated for him); and so that each child would have a correct lineage to its parents. Without doubt those who desired to restrict a man to a single wife, arguing for equalityharshly reject that a man gather under his custody more than one woman; where unable toachieve that. Many men by instinct and nature cannot restrict themselves to one woman or else he willengage in illicit sexual intercourse. When the preachers of [this] “false” equality wanted tooppose the natural way, it collided with them. This resulted in men taking girlfriends andlovers. Illicit sex spread, illegitimate children multiplied, and [human] suffering becamewidespread. Among this suffering is that men have turned to raping their children. The statisticsregarding this are extremely frightful. What crime have these “preachers of equality”brought to humanity that they have turned fathers into predatory beasts raping theirdaughters, offspring, and family members.This is some understanding, did anyone know this?
Not bad at all fellas and gallas. Thanks.
That’s a creative answer to a difficult question
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Felt so hopeless looking for answers to my questions…until now.
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Going to put this article to good use now.
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Now I feel stupid. That’s cleared it up for me
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I see, I suppose that would have to be the case.
The ability to think like that is always a joy to behold
Very valid, pithy, succinct, and on point. WD.
It’s good to get a fresh way of looking at it.
Too many compliments too little space, thanks!
I reckon you are quite dead on with that.
I was drawn by the honesty of what you write
That’s a smart answer to a difficult question.
Kill her with professionalism and make sure you are seen by co-workers and mraegnas alike. She emotional, use it to your advantage. if she bullys you infront of co-workers, ask her to talk privately. State the reason that can be heard. You are upset, it’s better to talk in private You are not being rude, if she states no rudely, it just makes her look bad. Then insist politely, it’ll just get her more angry and she’ll look made when she raises her voice (i’ve done this so many times). You already done the right thing by not responding to her emotional outbursts. When she disappears, go to her office to ask her professional opinion on something she can advice. When she doesn’t answer, ask her boss and coworkers, do you know when she’ll be back from her meeting?I only recommend this if you really don’t need this job of yours. when she has her private affair meeting, if the door is open and you see them making out. Go up to the door and state sorry, this is obviously a private meeting and close it. This gives you the power that tells her you KNOW. DON’T GOSSIP. She’ll probably confront you and deny you saw anything incriminating (even if you did) that would drive her nuts.Oh, in terms of the tail gating. Confront her on it, it’s dangerous and makes you uncomfortable. Personally, I’d let her hit me in the company parking lot where everyone can witness it.
That’s a smart answer to a tricky question
AKAIK you’ve got the answer in one!
I feel satisfied after reading that one.
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I actually found this more entertaining than James Joyce.
You put the lime in the coconut and drink the article up.
Hallelujah! I needed this-you’re my savior.
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If you wrote an article about life we’d all reach enlightenment.
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Stay informative, San Diego, yeah boy!
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You Sir/Madam are the enemy of confusion everywhere!
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That insight’s perfect for what I need. Thanks!
. I am having a very hard time with deinalg with his affair, even though he has had no contact whatsoever with her since I found the texts, and has even changed his work shift so he doesnt see her. I know infidelity is very common unfortunately, but I feel almost tricked into the marriage, even tho I myself was naive to how far the relationship between them went, I have told my husband that I was going to try to stick it out, but i find myself wanting to go back home, 1200 miles away. Sometimes I blame myself, maybe I didnt give him enough during our long distance even worse he cheating with a much older woman, we are in our mid 20 s, she was mid 40 s . Is there anyone who can offer insight into deinalg and or surviving infidelity?? Some days I’m fine, and others, I cry at the drop of the hat . any advice, or sharing would be very much appreciated! Thank you!Wow browneyed No I did not meet him online, we dated for almost two years BEFORE he deployed but between the deployment and My finishing school, our relationship was long distance for a year and a half . , for everyone else, thank you so much for sharing your situations, and the advice, it is helping quite a bit knowing that many others have been thru the same thingPatrick, thank you for your honesty, out of our friends who are military, only about half of them are surviving, deployments are very tough, I only know from the spouse point of view, Props for staying faithful
Most help articles on the web are inaccurate or incoherent. Not this!
I hate my life but at least this makes it bearable.
At last! Someone who understands! Thanks for posting!
That’s an inventive answer to an interesting question
Thanks for sharing. Always good to find a real expert.
Yo, that’s what’s up truthfully.
Holy concise data batman. Lol!
Action requires knowledge, and now I can act!
You get a lot of respect from me for writing these helpful articles.
This “free sharing” of information seems too good to be true. Like communism.
Super informative writing; keep it up.
Now I feel stupid. That’s cleared it up for me
Thanks for sharing. Always good to find a real expert.
No complaints on this end, simply a good piece.
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Back in school, I’m doing so much learning.
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I read your posting and was jealous
Walking in the presence of giants here. Cool thinking all around!
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Which came first, the problem or the solution? Luckily it doesn’t matter.
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she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could chngae her burial to Friday. He said, That would be better for me. (Shipping Executive, FTD Florists) 10. We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. (AT T Long Lines Division) 11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying, This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above. (Microsoft Legal Affairs Division) 12. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company’s training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the pedagogical approach used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director’s office and was told that the executive VP wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn’t stand for perverts (pedophiles?) working in her company. He showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired, with the word pedagogical circled in red. The HR Manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send to my boss, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out, directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation letter by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation) 13. This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally circulated memo: Lucent Technologies is endeavorily determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supercede, the expectations of quality! (Lucent Technologies formerly a division of AT T)
Heck of a job there, it absolutely helps me out.
Keep these articles coming as they’ve opened many new doors for me.
This was so helpful and easy! Do you have any articles on rehab?
Ab fab my goodly man.
Wow, that’s a really clever way of thinking about it!
At last, someone who comes to the heart of it all
This could not possibly have been more helpful!
I’m not worthy to be in the same forum. ROTFL
This is just the perfect answer for all forum members
God, I feel like I should be takin notes! Great work
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I searched a bunch of sites and this was the best.
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I’m not worthy to be in the same forum. ROTFL
Articles like this really grease the shafts of knowledge.
I feel so much happier now I understand all this. Thanks!
Gee whiz, and I thought this would be hard to find out.
What liberating knowledge. Give me liberty or give me death.
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Now I feel stupid. That’s cleared it up for me
I am currently in that bad place where I do not know if my miarrage will survive my wife having had an affair. We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 13 and have 4 children. Things are not good. I have, to the best of my ability, offered her forgiveness and the oppurtunity to work things out and put it behind us but she is struggling with her feelings towards me and why it occured in the first place. I believe that there are many different circumstances that can affect the outcome of couples getting through this but I’ve come to realize that what the biggest factor is how the affair took place and how it was found out. I suspected (I even asked her if she was having an affair and she denied it), then discovered proof and confronted her with it. Her response has been mostly upset that I found out, pissed off because I violated her privacy to get that proof and now depressed because she no longer has what made her feel good. If she had had a weekend fling or an affair that she ended on her own without me knowing then came clean and told me about it I believe we would survive this. Unfortunately I discovered and confronted her at the peak of it’s excitement, forced her to accept she lied (and continue for some time) about it and I’m now to blame for it’s ending. So, not only was she obviously unhappy with how her life was going prior to the affair, I am responsible for taking away that peak of exileration and I’m not capable of giving her those feelings largely because they come from the cat and mouse game played trying to keep it secret. That’s 3 strikes for me. I don’t know if anyone has ever compiled data that detailed how the affair was found out compared to it’s survival rate.I think you’ll find in cases like mine, finding a spouse in bed with another or the affair was with a close friend or family member, the survival rate is probably low. Emotions are way too high in these situations and the hurt and mistrust too deep.
Wow! Great to find a post knocking my socks off!
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Kudos to you! I hadn’t thought of that!
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Your story was really informative, thanks!
I guess finding useful, reliable information on the internet isn’t hopeless after all.
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Never seen a better post! ICOCBW
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Brilliance for free; your parents must be a sweetheart and a certified genius.
Articles like this are an example of quick, helpful answers.
Brilliance for free; your parents must be a sweetheart and a certified genius.
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I reckon you are quite dead on with that.
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How to move on after an affair?I’ve been mearird 4 years, together for 14 years, and we have a toddler.I recently had an affair that lasted 2 months. I know it was wrong; the other guy knew it was wrong to date a mearird woman such as myself. It has ended recently, but I can’t stop thinking of the guy. Even though I really liked this guy and had I been single (I wasn’t!!!!) I would have scooped him up quickly and made him mine.However, he has begun to distance himself ignoring my calls, texts, and emails. I have no idea why I am still contacting him. I think it’s my frickin’ ego, maybe can’t deal with the rejection that I feel from his ignoring me. But I also think I miss what we had, even though I know it was wrong and can never be.Occasionally he responds to email, saying that this is hard for him, too, but he has no other choice than to distance himself, that eventually he will want to settle down and start a family, too, and if he’s stuck on me, then it just makes the situation even worse.Part of me wishes that we could still see each other, even if only platonic, and part of me wishes I could just banish this guy from my life and mind totally, so that I get back the sense of peace that I used to feel when I was with my family.I’ve really been trying to take this time to think about WHY this affair happened (other than being a selfish b*tch who wanted her cake and to eat it, too). But I also would like to find a way to move on and to become the good wife and mother I used to be. I just want to feel normal again.So how do you move past an affair and get your life on the honest track?????? I guess I could start by not trying to contact the guy, eh? LOLP.S. And telling hubby about it isn’t an option. It would do more harm than good.
I’ve been looking for a post like this forever (and a day)
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It can be done if both parties are wilinlg to work on it. The cheater has to be ready to explain where they are and what they are doing for a long time to establish the trust back in the relationship. The spouse being cheated on has to learn to not bring up the affair everytime something goes wrong. In other words if each party is wilinlg to move on and leave the affair completely in the past and the cheater is truly sorry and never cheats again, the marriage can survive. My husband cheated on me after 7 years of marriage (yep that old 7 year itch) and we got past it and now we have been married almost 40 years and I can guarantee you that he never did it again and I never threw it in his face. It was a one time thing and he was truly sorry and he was terrified of losing me and his daughter and he showed it. For several years he would call me several times a day to check in and let me know where he was and he never went anywhere that I did not go with him. Now after all these years, I trust him completely and really don’t care where he goes and I never worry about him. But some men are just dogs and will do it over and over again and those you have to kick to the curb. Once can be just a mistake in judgement, but twice means its over .
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You have my deepest sythmapy for this dilemma I know of another couple who love one another deeply, yet cannot be together because of insurmountable issues that keep one of them tied to a marriage, and I find the whole situation sad beyond measure.Because of the pain and sorrow and frustration I see in this other couple, and the joy that is so plain when they’re together, and based on your narratives, I feel that Steve should leave his wife. It is always better, in my view, to seek positive happiness, rather than maintain a bearable status quo. Steve’s wife’s decision, not to deal with the issues in the marriage after she found out about the affair, clearly shows her priorities she is with Steve because that’s what she is his wife. It is simply a position she is used to occupying. Her pride would be hurt, and she would have to come up with a different view of herself, if Steve were to leave. Beyond that, she does not seem emotionally engaged. She seems, if anything, apathetic.Unfortunately, her physical condition adds a different dimension you can’t just walk out on someone who cannot take care of herself. How disabled is she? Is she able to live on her own without help? What kind of financial help can you give her to make sure that she does not suffer unduly from losing the sole provider in the household? You say you’ll be taking all the bills with you is that enough to allow her to live in some level of comfort, since she has no ability to earn? In fairness to her, you will have to address these questions before you make any decisions that will affect her future.Once those issues are sorted I think Steve should leave. Good luck to you both and I hope you do find happiness together.
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Felt so hopeless looking for answers to my questions…until now.
I told my grandmother how you helped. She said, “bake them a cake!”
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Does marriage rlelay change things?Does getting married rlelay change things? Like I know change is going to happen and it’s completely normal, but I’m just a bit worried as I’ll be getting married in four months.My sister and here husband were fighting today. About infidelity. My fiance and I are quite young and we already have a one year old son together and we’ve had our struggles, but we’ve always worked through it together.You here so many awful stories all the time it makes you wonder if there’s any hope or if there is even a point. But can the act of marriage, signing that piece of paper, rlelay make all things head down hill from their? Doesn’t a couple that never gets married but still lives as a married couple do, having kids etc, still face all the problems that any other married couple do?I would just like to say my fiance is the most selfless man I’ve ever know. He is humble and patient. He is a wonderful father and treats everyone with the utmost respects and love, even when they are undeserving. He is one in a million, treats me better than a princess and I love him just as much.I agree with and disagree with queen of beer. A collage degree does not make a susessful marriage. My fiance’s dad quit school when he was 14. But 30 years later he is a successful man. He has two businesses an amazing wife of 27 years and six amazing children.
I feel so much happier now I understand all this. Thanks!
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Is this enough to make her lose her kids?My sttmpoeher has 2 kids, ages 12 7. I have proof in the form of e-mails sent from her to my father vice versa that she was having an affair with him before she was divorced. They include details like her going running him picking her up when out of sight, running up to a house from the car with a blanket over their heads, ect. I also have documentation that they as a couple, were on adult friend finder when she was still married, they were seeking bisexual relationships. I have pictures of explicit items such as sweet lube adult toys in plain view of the children in the bedroom. I also have proof she is bulimic and therefore emotionaly unstable. She also walks around totally nude with her 12 year old son in the house. If I send this information to her ex husband, will he be able to use it take the kids? I also have the papers were my dad mapped out what she was going to say in court to gain custody. I got all this by going through his files and using a digital cameraI DO have proof they left dildos, porn(forgot to mention that) and sex lube where the kids could see itIt is completely my buisness. She doesn’t deserve her kidsDo you REALLY think I would use my name to do it? I would claim I was one of their ex. girls. And flagger_guy. what THEY did was dispicable. yes, this IS revenge oriented, but you dont know the whole story. Dont pretend you do
This forum needed shaking up and you’ve just done that. Great post!
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Yeah that’s what I’m talking about baby–nice work!
..if you are serious about mnkaig your marriage work, you HAVE to get this other woman out of your life and out of your mind. The first step is to cut off all communication with her! It may be difficult, but it must be done if you are going to save your marriage! Once you have stopped talking to her, it will be easier to stop thinking about her. What you are feeling for her probably isn’t love, but instead, excitement and infatuation. With time, your feelings will subside. Then, you need to refocus all of your time and attention on your wife. She is going to have a lot of insecurity and trust issues because of what you did. Be patient and kind with her! It is a process that she must go through in order to truly move past this! Saying I’m sorry isn’t enough! It is going to take a lot of time and effort to undo what you’ve done!I wish you luck! It won’t be easy and it may not work out, but doing what you can to fix it is admirable! Just please learn from this and don’t ever make the same mistake again!!
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Your post is a timely contribution to the debate
This was so helpful and easy! Do you have any articles on rehab?
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Deep thought! Thanks for contributing.
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we were done and I was filing, we aren’t diocrved so it wasn’t right. So feeling guilty, I told my husband and he was crushed. He started crying and he said, Now I know how you felt all those times but I’m sure your pain was much worse. I told that guy that I can’t talk to him anymore. But now there is another guy and I dont know what to do. This guy is amazing, but I feel like I still should try at my marriage. I pray about it and sometimes I feel like God is telling me I have the right to move on, but then sometimes I feel guilty. I still love him very deeply, I never stopped. He’s working out of town right now but said he wants to drive up here to see me today. I told him I had to think. I don’t know what to do. I could see a relationship going far with this other guy, but I can also see my husband and I working things out but its gonna take a lot of work, and I guess I’m afraid I’ll get my heart torn out in the process again if it doesn’t work.
Great article, thank you again for writing.
Great article but it didn’t have everything-I didn’t find the kitchen sink!
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You make things so clear. Thanks for taking the time!
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AKAIK you’ve got the answer in one!
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Which came first, the problem or the solution? Luckily it doesn’t matter.
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TYVM you’ve solved all my problems
i didn’t tell her everyday tighns she needed to hear. When we got back together i was starting to open up and tell her more on how beautiful she was and different tighns as well as leaving little notes. Then she said it was too much and i should’ve been saying it from day one. On valentines day, she was mad because i didn’t plan anything out, i bought her flowers, teddy bear and a card and we went out to eat, just not where i wanted cuz they were booked. She broke up with me and said the feelings she had in the beginning weren’t really love like she thought. Now i think she has a boyfriend, a week after we broke up, but i went over to pick up some clothes and she didn’t mention him but was out with her sister and him. Not sure why she wouldn’t tell me she has a boyfriend now, but would like information on attempting to get her back, when or if i should call and apologize. Thank you for your help.
It’s always a pleasure to hear from someone with expertise.
So true. Honesty and everything recognized.
I’d venture that this article has saved me more time than any other.
Haha. I woke up down today. You’ve cheered me up!
Wham bam thank you, ma’am, my questions are answered!
What’s it take to become a sublime expounder of prose like yourself?
Great article, thank you again for writing.
A bit surprised it seems to simple and yet useful.
Never seen a better post! ICOCBW
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Thought it wouldn’t to give it a shot. I was right.
One or two to remember, that is.
Four score and seven minutes ago, I read a sweet article. Lol thanks
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Your post is a timely contribution to the debate
What’s it take to become a sublime expounder of prose like yourself?
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In the complicated world we live in, it’s good to find simple solutions.
You Sir/Madam are the enemy of confusion everywhere!
What a pleasure to find someone who thinks through the issues
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Posts like this make the internet such a treasure trove
Well done article that. I’ll make sure to use it wisely.
Thanks for writing such an easy-to-understand article on this topic.
That’s a brilliant answer to an interesting question
For one, just end it. Tell the other man that you had fun but you feel the two of you need to concentrate on your own maairrges tell him that you are feeling guilty which means you do love your husband. He will probably understand and even respect you for it. I see in your other question hes married, too so ask him, how would his wife feel if she knew about the steamy letters the two of you share? Suggest to him to work on his marriage, too . he may just agree You obviously love your husband. Let him know you love him and let him know you are scared where your marriage is going. Let him know you like it when other men flirt with you that it makes you feel like a woman tell him thats the way he use to make you feel and you miss it and tell him you want him to be in love and lust with you again I would like to advise you to seek counseling for yourself so that you can learn how to talk to your husband and explain how you feel.. maybe theres unmet needs you dont know how to share with him. The counselor can also help you with your feelings of being un-attractive and help your self esteem. Perhaps marital counseling would be a great benefit as well. The two of you need time together to explore one another again. I dont know how long you have been married, but sometimes people grow apart in two different directions instead of one. Im glad to see you dont want to be in different directions anymore. Let him know this. Just talk to you your husband. I would not tell him about the emotional affair since it didnt get physical and was basically just a bunch of flirting. It would just hurt him and make him withdrawl even more. (Personally- I like it when a man flirts with me it reminds me I am still attractive just cant let it cloud your mind. I even tell my husband when a man flirts with me because it makes him more possessive and reminds him I am still hot tee hee!)How do you fix it? By not going back to it. Leave it in the past. Dont do it again. Prevent it from happening again. How? By recognizing the feelings that you have been feeling from the get go- surely theres some red flags when you get all giddy about being perceived as hot! Take the compliment and go on. Dont fall prey to it again. going to counseling can help you with this.Admiting it was wrong is half the battle won.
It was dark when I woke. This is a ray of sunshine.
What a pleasure to find someone who identifies the issues so clearly
Dag nabbit good stuff you whippersnappers!
Tip top stuff. I’ll expect more now.
TYVM you’ve solved all my problems
As Charlie Sheen says, this article is “WINNING!”
That hits the target dead center! Great answer!
This is way better than a brick & mortar establishment.
It’s a pleasure to find such rationality in an answer. Welcome to the debate.
What a joy to find someone else who thinks this way.
So much info in so few words. Tolstoy could learn a lot.
Thanks guys, I just about lost it looking for this.
What a pleasure to meet someone who thinks so clearly
How could any of this be better stated? It couldn’t.
I don’t know who you wrote this for but you helped a brother out.
People normally pay me for this and you are giving it away!
Your post is a timely contribution to the debate
Got it! Thanks a lot again for helping me out!
Your story was really informative, thanks!
Ah yes, nicely put, everyone.
That insight would have saved us a lot of effort early on.
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Posts like this make the internet such a treasure trove
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Your articles are for when it absolutely, positively, needs to be understood overnight.
And to think I was going to talk to someone in person about this.
THX that’s a great answer!
That’s not just the best answer. It’s the bestest answer!
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Keep on writing and chugging away!
I reckon you are quite dead on with that.
Shoot, who would have thought that it was that easy?
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If I communicated I could thank you enough for this, I’d be lying.
A little rationality lifts the quality of the debate here. Thanks for contributing!
your in your mid 20 s so your suppose to be old enugoh to make choices with ur life that atleast take half a brain to come up with the answer.. YOU chose to marry him knowing these things.. you made that decision no one forced u into it.. so now u need to learn to work through this.. I knew a couple that were dating on the internet.. and although they were commited to each other through the internet the guy was getting sick of waiting wondering if she’d ever really come cause he was trusting in her that she was infact going to come but kept stalling or having reasons to put off coming to the point that he considered having sex with someone else because it was a year and a half since they had met online, and lets face it a year and a half of no sex is alot to ask of anyone, but let alone someone that u’ve never met fact to face.. so maybe thats what happened with ur guy, maybe he started to lose faith that u’d eventually move to be with him and he made a bad choice.. i doubt if it was anything but sex..and now that u are with him.. and now married to him.. has he given u any reason to believe that he’d cheat on u now? Since Oct.. and this whole thing with this chic came to light, has he done anything to make you feel insecure? is he hiding things? is he constantly late? is he still contacting her? is he trying his butt off to make u see that he loves u and only u and wants to be only with u??????? crap happens, but his true commitment wasnt made till the day he said I do to u.. and if from this moment on for the next 50 years he loves u and is true to u wouldnt it be worth it? so give him a chance, if he screws it up again, go back home and chalk it up to a huge mistake.. but u chose to marry him, so u chose to give him this chance to prove to you that he can forsake all others and be true to only you.. so dont be blind.. but have faith that he wouldnt of gone to all the trouble of marrying u if he truely didnt want to be with u .. if he wanted her , he could of been with her, but he chose u in the end so give ur marriage a fair shake.. try and put this behind u and look forward.. until he gives u a reason not to trust in your marriage and your vows..To your edit.. really doesnt change things.. ur the idiot that chose to still marry him knowing all of this.. so u need to own up to the choices u’ve made and be accountable for your own actions.. marriage vows are not to be taken lightly and the fact that u still proceeded to marry this guy and a month later ur thinking it was a mistake , just shows how stupid and immature u really are.. he didnt trick u , you have your own brain to bad u dont know how to use it..
Taking the overview, this post is first class
Smart thinking – a clever way of looking at it.
You couldn’t pay me to ignore these posts!
We need more insights like this in this thread.
Super informative writing; keep it up.
Very true! Makes a change to see someone spell it out like that.
Wow! Great to find a post knocking my socks off!
This was so helpful and easy! Do you have any articles on rehab?
More posts of this quality. Not the usual c***, please
At last! Someone who understands! Thanks for posting!
That’s a wise answer to a tricky question
The honesty of your posting is there for all to see
Grazi for making it nice and EZ.
This article achieved exactly what I wanted it to achieve.
Is that really all there is to it because that’d be flabbergasting.
Your answer shows real intelligence.
At last some rationality in our little debate.
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Haha. I woke up down today. You’ve cheered me up!
I could read a book about this without finding such real-world approaches!
In awe of that answer! Really cool!
This has made my day. I wish all postings were this good.
It’s a relief to find someone who can explain things so well
This piece was cogent, well-written, and pithy.
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Alicia,If you want to get ex back, there are some things that you can do:Cut off all cotanct for a while. This one is probably going to be the hardest. You should stop talking to him for 2-4 weeks. That means no IM’s, no email, no phone calls, no texts, nothing.I know this sounds like it should be the opposite. Your gut reaction is going to be that you want to talk to them work it out, tell them how much you care, etc However, this is not the time to do it.Why? Because they won’t want to deal with you when you seem desperate or clingy. If you cut them off, then cotanct them again after a few weeks, it will make them curious as to where you went and what you have been up to. In fact from your question, I have the feeling you’re communicating too much with him which is what is helping to push him further away.Stay active. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to do you any good. Now is a good time to find a new hobby or hang out with friends even more. Try dating someone new. Yes, you’re not really in the mood to be with anyone else right now. That’s understandable, but there’s nothing wrong with getting out and getting to know someone.Start exercising, if you don’t already.Exercise is good for two reasons: It will not only help you to look better, it will also help you to feel better. Having some new confidence can actually help to get your ex back. If you are looking good and feeling good, they will notice. There is a lot more detailed information at the site mentioned in my resource box. I wish you good luck and I hope that things work out for you. If you follow the tips I’ve given you and check out the resource you may just get ex back.
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Well, my marriage has not only maeangd to survive after an affair, but our marriage is better than it was before the affair (well, if not better stronger and more mature). My wife cheated on me, and while I was devestated and thunderstruck, we decided to see if this was something we could work past and save our relationship.The primary advice I can give to you is to make sure that you are willing to make changes to make the marriage work as much as you expect to get your spouse to make changes. Most of the time after an affair the spouse will make their SO simply pay for what they did in order to show that they won’t put up with what happened and make them pay the price. The problem is that once the pennence is over your relationship is no better off and probably worse off than it was beforehand.As much as it seemed like the wrong thing to do, when my wife cheated on me we tried to figure out what we could BOTH do to fix our marriage. Sure there were more than a few screaming matches and attempts by me to try to push her away to see if she would just leave. And I certainly called her a number of things that I wouldn’t be allowed to repeat here. However, when it came to the marriage I also talked to her about what was lacking in our marriage from her perspective and we BOTH tried to address it. I didn’t just draw up a list of demands that she please me, I worked on the marriage and things I was not doing or communicating and she did the same.It was a hard and painful journey, one that 3 years later is probably not 100% complete. Yet, I can say with certaintly that we are closer now than we ever were before and we understand each other now more than we ever did before. Sure there are moments where I let myself dwell on what happened, but honestly my main regret is that it took us going that far down before we were willing to fight for our marriage.So yes, it certainly can work, but you have to BOTH invest into it for it to work. That means you have to give as much as you get which seems wrong to reward him for his bad behavior, but in the end, if you both commit to the relationship, it can work out.That doesn’t mean it can work out for everyone, nor does it mean that it will work for you. However, it is certainly possible to overcome this so long as you don’t just try to forgive and forget. It isn’t about putting it behind you, it is about moving forward to a point where it happens to be behind you. But you will never forget, that is the thing you both will always have to live with. I hope for your family that it is mainly a regret that you both ever let it get that far.
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I don’t want to be friends), and she also said that if we are meant to be, we’ll be tehetgor again. She gives me hope by saying things like that, but she has not contacted me at all in 2 weeks. She seems indifferent towards me now.I have read so much stuff on the internet about how to get your ex girlfriend back and have purchased E-books too about the subject. Everything has been helpful, but I still feel like I haven’t gotten very far. I feel like I have definitely grown as person and become more confident, yet I have not seen any progress in getting my ex back.My ex started seeing someone else a week after we broke up, and as of today they are finally official. I’ve read up on a lot of stuff about rebound relationships lately and was wondering if you would still classify this as one. She didn’t jump right into it after the breakup, but it still has only been 8 weeks. She didn’t know this guy too well until she started talking to him 7 weeks ago, and they’ve been getting closer and having sex for 3 weeks now. So could her new relationship still be a rebound?I know that I could find someone much better than her. she has put me through a lot of crap since the summer. But I still love this girl so much. It’s a hard decision. I’ll be very satisfied if her new relationship fails, although I’m going to act supportive to her either way. I’m anxious now to see how things play out.
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, I have tried and tried to connect with him. He is eoalimnolty unavailable and always has been at least for the past 8 years out of 9! I have cried and begged with him to listen to me, begged him to go to counseling, we went to 3 sessions and then he thought the counselor wanted to sleep w me so we couldn’t go anymore! In our entire marriage he has never apologized to me, not even once! I have cried at his feet begging him to listen to me, telling him we need help, telling him he is destroying us. He either continues to stare at the tv and ignore me or tells me to go to bed, your not getting your problem solved tonight! or get the F out of my face . He only touches me when he wants sex for the most part, and that’s the only time he says I love you to me, and since i pointed out to him that he only tells me he loves me during sex, he now refuses to say it even then. He will go 3-4 months without telling me he loves me. He says I am the one with the problem and that his marriage is fine, He feels he shows his love by commuting and going to work everyday for our family. I have told him i have a different love language and although I appreciate that dearly it takes more to make this marriage work. I don’t like the person he is, he is negative in every aspect, he is racist, he is judgmental of all others, he thinks he is always right and no one else can have an opinion and if they do of course they are stupid. Needless to say I have been miserable for years, but have tried and tried to convince myself to stay because of my children and the vows I took, I didnt get married to get divorced. I am scared as hell to go out into this world on my own with 3 kids! I have not finished college, I have worked part time for 7 years and i make about $17-18 an hour. I know its not a lot. I have never wanted to break my kids up from having both parents at home, but I am in my early 30 s now and i feel i can not continue to waste my life. I am scared to tell him goodbye, i don’t know how. He thinks everything is fine. He is in oblivion! Lately i try to get out of the house with the kids or by myself as much as possible. I have been in counseling by myself for 8 months. I feel i have tried so much., now I feel I am turning cold towards him, I feel that he may be picking up on my distance because he bought me a valentines gift which in all years past he has made it very clear to me that Valentines day and all other made up holidays are fake and he doesn’t celebrate them! He also told me that I looked nice for the first time EVER last weekend before we went out, usually he tells me whats wrong with my hair or outfit, I told him to stop being so nice to me I am not use to it. He even reached out to hug and kiss me and tell me he loved me before bed one night I again asked him why are u being so nice he said I am always nice I said Yeah right!I have this pic of me that I put in a frame and gave to him for our anniversary so he could take to work all my friends said I looked like a model in it, he said it was not a good pic of me, and didnt want to take it to work, so I placed it out on our table then a few days later i find it stuffed in a drawer!!!!!He didn’t even tell me happy mothers day on Mothers day or happy birthday on my birthday, its like these phrases are to hard for him to say, he is eoalimnolty constipated as i like to put it! .i walk around my house and wonder how am i going to tell him, how am i going to break my childrens hearts, how the HELL AM I GOING TO DO THIS??? Now heres the kicker that everyone is probably going to get angry w me for. When i was 15 I met a boy, he was visiting my friend on vacation, we had an amazing connection and day just one amazing day as kids together, well .17 years later I find him on Facebook, say hello, he is married no children, thinks he is happy then BAM, something starts growing between us! Something i cant explain. He and I are both in turmoil now, he is broken hearted and angry at himself for feeling this way and for breaking his vows and hurting his wife and shocking his family (no one knows yet). He is an amazing man with a wonderful heart that didnt know that this could or would be able to happen to him. He and I live in different states but we communicate daily via phone, email, text, im, web cam. He is planning a visit to see me soon. Flying in for 4 hours to meet me again and see how we feel face to face. Right now we feel we are in love, he accepts me with my children, he is willing to move to my state. We talk about the future, we dont want to date,My Question was so long that it didnt show all the bottom line is. How do I tell him I am going to leave him, when he is clueless. How do I truly do this, without breaking my childrens hearts .I am sick over this everyday. My heart is hurting and I have no answers I feel like a zombie. I never thought I would hurt a married women, so my heart is breaking for this women I dont even know as well. I just need advice on how to actually tell a man that is denial that and that never communicates with me that this is real, I am scared to death!
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I think your question sluohd have been Will my Marriage survive Alcoholism? Just by the way you asked your question you are still deeply in your alcoholism. Even though you admit that your alcoholism was a root of the problem, you are still blaming your wife. Yes she did have an affair but your alcoholism took you away from her and your family. Unlike other people, giving answers on here, I’m not going to cut you any slack. How dare you blame her when you know what you as an alcoholic does. You know where you have been, what you had to overcome and then when you fell off the wagon and dragged your family down with your alcoholism you want to ask will it survive infidelity. Again the more appropriate answer is can it survice you and your alcoholism. You act as if you falling off the wagon was a minor slip. No, it was MAJOR, a life FELONY!!! You both need counseling but you need to accept full responsibility for what YOUR actions have caused! What did you expect? For her to just remain at home while you go on a 2 month bender? Now you see what can happen when you get comfortable thinking that you are a recovered alcoholic and not a recovering alcoholic.
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my wife had an affair a long time ago..during our senocd year of marriage ..we have now been married for 12 years the pain never goes away i can tell you that much .the only way in making the marriage work is by putting it in the back of your head .your never going to forget about it .i know the pain your going through .i too would throw the hurtful remarks at her trying to make her hurt as much as i did i would even think about what i could do to bring upon the same pain she bestowed upon me but in the end you have to be the better person ..if you love him that much then you will make it work you will stop letting it get to you and you will forgive him your marriage will not work if you dont forgive .you have to learn to have trust in him..again how can it work if you can’t trust him..you can’t live a life thinking what if all the time .its a hard process but its doable if your willing to work at it i hope the best for you ..feel free to email me i know what your going through .its a tough road to recovery and thats just what it is recovery from a painful heart ache ..but you can get through it
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could this be that women are internally stngorer than men?i didn’t mean on physical strength and mental capability, but in terms of inner survival drive. as looking back at what they face:women menstruation, first-time intercourse, pregnancy, give birth, labor bleed, child care, breastfeeding, housemaking, and . make money.ok and that’s not included sexual harassment, sex abuse yet. while for most cases,men make money. (only)*additional info taken from other source (edited)*Women have so much on their hands, childbearing, domestic affairs, housekeeping, multi-tasking, the burden of society’s taboos and perception of how to be a woman on her shoulders, the burden of childbirth, the disadvantage of not being able to have multiple partners without being accused of being promiscuous also doing the bulk of the work (and need to obey the husband as to maintain high-effective marriage) , women have also been regarded as more emotional, weaker, physically more fragile than men, stay at home, rear the children, do the cooking and in some societies, there are still cases where women are worthy of less rights than men are given.A woman’s job is 24/7, 7 days a week and a man’s job is 8 hours, 5 days a week.It is also statistically proven that women do 80 percent of the hard, manual labor in the world. (perhaps not including career activities yet)so it takes allot of strength to live with this.also, when it comes to victimization, women children are the preferred target compared to men. Yet many religions also state that women are the ones that are more and easier to be tempted by the evil forces.What is the justification for all this in nature, and why does men seem to be let off so easily?we often hear single-mother though, shows a woman can take care of her life and her children’s all by herself, but hardly listen single-father coz in most cases, single-father can’t stay that single much, where he needs to get a wife pretty soon to do all the things which he can actually do, but pretend he can’t. so, since women had been surviving pretty good under all these burdens and pains, could it be that women are actually made stngorer at most points?
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What do do about the constant fhintigg?My husband and I have always argued since we got together (we’ll be married 7 years as of this Thanksgiving) but I always thought that was just the because we were still getting accustomed to each other. Seven years later, it’s still the same nonsense if not worse b/c there have been infidelities (on both parts). The only difference is now we have two children (2 1/2yrs and 8 mo.) added to the mix. It honestly feels like the love is gone. We used to cuddle, watch movies, etc. Now we rarely spend time together unless we have friends over or alcohol is involved. The last time we even had sex was over 1 mo. ago (Yes I’ve tried he just doesn’t seem interested.) I’ve suggested marriage counseling he’s not interested. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I want to leave but, #1 I don’t want to regret it #2 I have no way of supporting my children b/c I’m a stay at home mom (we’re in Germany with the US Army) HELP!!! This fhintigg isn’t good for us or our kids! Any suggestions?I wanted to add that I really don’t want to leave it’s just that I’m sick of living like this. I’ve stayed because when I married him I promised him for better or for worse. However, I can’t imagine living the rest of my life like this.Actually, for those of you suggesting it I’m already in college and I will be getting my associates degree by this coming June.
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may be it was a miscarriage she was not aware she was prngnaet. The husband has been taking family planning project of withdrawal with sex with the wife. After the husband was suspcious the wife had another man and telling the wife they usually communicate the wife confeses she has just been in an affair with another married man since late last year2010 but she tells the husband she has never slept with this man they had just started the relationship. The man asks the wife did she tell that man she is married and she says she told him but the man insisted they go on with the relationship. The other man tells her he is also married.The wife who happens to be a good christian had before confessing told her husband she is human and also makes mistakes before the husband discovers all that and the woman confessesd. Now the wife cries and cries and then says to her husband after the man demands to know if she had slept with the other man , she says she fears God who sees in dackness she did not sleep with the other man and she is sure may be it was the husband who had impregnated her then she had a miscarriage. The husband is not satisfied with this comment becoz he insists why did her not tell her she had miscarried or aborted but chose to do all that secertly. She has refused to disclose the other man name for she says she fears the other man may do something wrong to her sounds funny and also she has refused to go for another check up to confirm how if the pregnancy got out well since at one point she had to go to a scan but refused. The husband also wants a blood test but says there is no need since she had not reached far with the other man by having sexual relations with the other man she says as she confesses she is speaking the truth with the fear of her God in her who can punish and reveal hidden things.. She was seen by the husband taking a local herb taken by women after they have just given birth and firstly she first denied taking the herb but latter accepts after the husband tells her she is taking that herb Should the husband believe her wife words as true or reject them that she is covering up something all this with use of saying she fears God and given all as you read and previously been happening.
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If you had an affair with a mairred person should you let their spouse know?I had an affair with a mairred man and did not know until the damage was done that he was mairred. I found out by him later on that he was mairred the wife was expecting their 4th child and he had some what of a history having affairs. He supposedly developed feelings for me but later turned out to be a jerk that enjoyed the game. i feel sorry for his wife and have a lot of guilt over what I did, because it was an intimate relationship. His wife of 3 years is due any day now and as far as I know does not know what he’s been up to. he has a reputaion of being a flirt where I work and Im almost sure he met his wife now by having an affair behind wifes #1 back. should I just sit back and let her learn that what goes around does come around. I dont want to do this to be malicious but I cant help but wonder if she knows what her husband doing while shes at home with 4 children under the age of 5. I would hate to think that my actions caused any complications with her pregnancy.
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about me. She was the good girl and I was the rebel. I have sought clnnseoiug, taken classes, and even got a degree to search for myself. Yet, no matter what I have done or no matter how I have grown she just doesn’t love me in the way a husband and wife does. She even says that even at the beginning she never felt the warm fuzzys or whatever for me.These last few years she has found a fulfilling career and business and devotes all of her time with it. She gets personal satisfaction from her business and invests all of her time there. She works with a lot of people, and since then I feel like she compares me to the other men she comes in contact with. The people she talks about have better careers, are better looking, and have quite a few more qualities than I have. I never feel like I measure up.Lately, she works late and doesn’t answer my phone calls. When she comes home she sits on the laptop and works. I don’t think she is having an affair, but I do believe she has an ideal mate in mind and that is not me. She is actually a good person and I really admire many things about her. She has a good heart.I don’t know if I can do this again. Each time she has left before it has been so painful. It tears me inside and out. I’ve learned from the past experiences not to beg anymore nor to plead anymore. I cannot do that. It really feels like the end this time, and it is so much different than before.If you’ve been in a relationship like this, and it ended then how did you deal with it? How did you recover? How do you survive? I am so lonely. I don’t want to be without her, yet I am so exhausted from being the scapegoat for all that has gone wrong in our relationship. I’ve read marriage books, seen counselors, and I’ve done all I can to try to meet her needs and to understand her but I have gotten lost in this whole journey. I often wonder who I am.Anyway, I don’t really need advice on what I have done wrong. I do have many faults, and I am definitely not perfect. But, how have you survived something like this?
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It takes time to heal after such an emotional trumaa. It is very common for the betrayed spouse to undergo a roller coaster of emotions in the first year especially after discovery. You are the best person to help him heal. He needs you to help rebuild the trust that was so severely damaged. This will take time. Affairs are tangled into a web of lies to keep the fantasy going. Sometimes, those lies are just as hurtful as the actions. Be open and have compassionate honesty. Answer his questions with patience, he will ask over and over.Let him see that you ended all contact with any other men, offer him full access to any communication you have, your cell, voice mail, email, messaging, etc. Let him see if he feels the need. You damaged the trust, it’s up to you to rebuild it. As he sees that you are doing the right thing’, he will feel the need to look less and less.Be accountable for your time, let him know if anything changes. Keep those lines of communication wide open. If the other man contacts you or you run into him, end it quickly and let your husband know. Any secrets at this point will damage that fragile trust. Telling him this will not happen again is just words. Make a plan to protect yourself and your marriage in the future. Keep reassuring him of your love, He now struggles with doubts. Make time for each other as a couple. Date. It’s hard for couples with children. You get so child centered and forget what drew you both together to begin with. Look into finding some help. A safe place to vent. Try to find a counselor who is certified in marriage counseling with experience with infidelity. You might have to try more than one. Or, try a marriage weekend program, such as Retrouvaille. Yes, he can love you again. He is hurt and confused. Marriages can survive this, but it takes lots of effort from both of you to recover.
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Another book plot of mine, is it alright or nideeng an overhaul?Ok, so to avoid wall of text again, Im going to make this as short as possible, and I haven’t really thought the entire story through, yet.The story, is about a young, arrogant fresh-out-of-college Psychiatrist who has just started work and has been given more than he had expected to start with. A nice, large office, plenty of control over who he meets with, and whatever assignments of drugs he wishes. Eventually, being young and stupid, he becomes corrupt. He decides to meet mainly with female patients, and few male patients, and he wants to see how far he can get with the prettier patients. Unfortunately for him, most of the patients aren’t exactly his forte in looks, and he soon starts giving up on one-on-one meetings. Soon, however, he meets with the perfect girl. A vulnerable 23 year old woman who is perfectly beautiful but psychologically ruined. He feels an immediate attachment, and he realizes he wants to get her in his bed sooner or later, which it is strictly against code to be too friendly with patients, but there isn’t really anyone to stop him. Eventually he gets really close to her, and he begins doing her in his office, with noticeable effects on her mind. She falls in love with him and becomes obsessed, any minute away from him is torture, and she kills herself when he doesn’t speak to her for a month. He is emotionally destroyed by the fact. He is legally in the clear because nobody found out about the affair, but he is gradually becoming insane because he loved her as well. Eventually, he goes crazy, and ends up on the pills he had been prescribing to his own patients, and he realizes what’s going on, and kills himself, in the insane asylum.The moral of the story is that Psychiatrists have it tough, and they can sometimes get too involved with their patients. Also, the patients can be beautiful, every day people just like us, and that we need to appreciate the few people in the profession who can survive the ill effects of losing these patients to suicide and what suicide does to others, and learning the dangers of becoming too involved with someone who is mentally unstable as well, but still try to help them to the best of our ability.This story I have titled Shrink .
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Husband had an affair with a yougenr woman?My husband and I have been married for 3 years and I found out that for 2 months, my husband had an affair with a yougenr woman. She is 19 years old. My husband is 25, while I am 23. This girl lives in the same complex as my husband and I so I see her almost everyday. She is absolutely beautiful I have to admit. And I cannot get over my husband’s infidelity. It pains me to think that while I was at work trying to earn a paycheque for the both of us that my husband has been banging this girl. Whenever I leave the house I have this fear that my husband may be cheating on me again. My husband doesn’t work because he has been laid off and the girl is a high school drop out so they both have plenty of time off. My husband has been saying that he regrets it so much and he confesses that it was her that came to his door basically putting out when I wasn’t home. I know deep down I deserve better. But my confidence is so shattered right now. This girl actually had the audacity to write to me and say that my husband wanted something “much yougenr, fresher, and sexier and that she was the total package for him. She even wrote that note in such horrible English as well. What should I do? I am 23, and have been cheated on and I feel so confused and lost right now, please help! I invested 3 years in this marriage and I just don’t want to throw it all away Any advice/ideas would help tremendously thank you.
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